I think the one main problem that people have in this world, from which every other problem stems, is that not enough people DEEPLY question themselves. Here is a scenario, and two possible lines of questioning. You must question until there are no more questions to get to the ROOT of a matter…
SCENARIO: Your friend betrayed you somehow and you want to get even by revealing a secret you swore to keep.
A self-questioning session might go like…
Q: Why do I want to reveal this secret?
A: In order to get even?
Q: Why is it important to get even?
A: Because justice is important?
Q: How will this achieve justice?
A: Because then she will be less likely to do this kind of thing again.
Q: Will it really make her less likely to do it again?
A: No, it will probably just make her angry and want to retaliate.
Q: So why do it?
A: Because it will make me feel better!
Q: And why would it make you feel better?
(This is when things get tricky; you’re probing into the speculative processes of the subconscious and it’s difficult to know if the answers you come up with are the REAL answers, or are you subconsciously trying to avoid the root of the problem.)
A: Hmmm… i don’t know… I guess I want her to feel the way she made me feel.
Q: And why is that?
A: Because then I wont feel wronged.
Q: What does that feel like?
A: It feels angry and painful.
Q: And you don’t want to feel that way?
A: No, of course not.
Q: And you think that getting even will put an end to those feelings?
A: Maybe. It will at least help.
Q: And what about her feelings?
A: I don’t care about her feelings.
Q: Then why do you want her to feel bad? If you really didn’t care about her feelings, then why would her feelings effect you mood?
(I think around here is where most people would get exhausted and throw in the towel. That’s EXACTLY what your subconscious mind wants you to do so that it can continue to exist as it always has, with the same old beliefs.)
A: Hmm… I guess I do care about her feelings… And that’s why I’m so hurt that she doesn’t really care about mine… And I don’t want to care about her feelings anymore… so I’m trying to prove that to myself by performing an action that demonstrates that I don’t care about her feelings…
(Now, you’ve gotten to the real root of the problem, from which other feelings and possible actions are stemming. At this point my Questioning side, becomes the Caring side [in actuality they were always one in the same])
C: Yea, that feels pretty bad, huh? And those conflicting feelings must be driving you nuts.
C: But is revenge really the solution?
A: No, probably not… And it’ll make me feel like less good of a person.
C: So what shall you do instead?
(From here there could be a hundred solutions, while before in the blindness of anger there could be only one. You could use any sort of hobby or interests therapeutically, or to distract yourself. You could talk to her about the issue. You could decide not to be friends with her anymore, but not out of anger. The mind is free to do one of the things it does best… be creative!)
Many people just fall into the ways of thinking and behaving that they are expected to, or that everybody else does, and don’t question it very deeply. This is how oppressive self-perpetuating systems that are integral to any area that experiences sustained poverty. Most of the people there never question themselves deeply enough to decide if they accept or reject the things they were raised to believe. Their parents had a big family and so they will. But if they stopped to think deeply about it, they would likely come to the conclusion that it would be silly to try to raise many children in extreme poverty conditions. We as westerners like to ask WHY and wonder why they don’t do the same.
Now lets flip things around on us. Do westerners ever question our own beliefs. Actually, many of us do. That is one of the things about education, especially upper level education (college/university) where they actually treat you like an intelligent human being, by its very nature it FORCES YOU TO THINK. That’s why it’s so important. No offense but I guess what I’m trying to say is…
I think a lot of people don’t think deeply enough. And the biggest problem is that they think they do…