Tag: self-help

Great Time Magazine Article about Speaking

I haven’t posted in a while but I came across this Time magazine online article and hope it will be as beneficial to you guys out there as it was to me. God bless.

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A wise Arab proverb says, “Every war begins with words.”

In the teachings of Islamic spirituality there is much that is written about the importance of restraining the tongue. The tongue is called “the mirror of the heart.” In other words, what appears on our tongue is a chief indicator of what is in our hearts. And, this becomes even truer in those unguarded moments when anger, frustration, or stress gets the best of us and our tongues lose any sense of discipline.

This is, perhaps, why the Prophet Muhammad said that one of the ways of knowing if there is hypocrisy in our hearts is to examine what we say with our tongues when we become angry. If it is foul and vile words, then that is a measure of how much purification of the heart remains.

The masters of Islamic spirituality teach that the heart and the tongue have a two-way relationship. Even though the tongue is the mirror whereas the heart is the reality, if we work on polishing the mirror the reality also becomes polished with time and effort.

So, what does it mean to work on the tongue? It means struggling within ourselves to restrain the tongue from all that is corrupt and ugly, like one would pull back a wild horse, and to train the tongue in the speech of goodness and beauty.

The sages and scholars of Islamic spirituality warn that the tongue should be guarded from the following 8 types of speech: lying; breaking promises or oaths; speaking ill of others or slandering; wrangling, arguing and disputing with others without any clear benefit or when you fear it will get out of hand; self-justification or self-praise in a way that leads to arrogance; cursing or using foul language; invoking evil on creatures even if they are your worst enemies; jesting, ridiculing, and scoffing at people in a way that hurts people’s feelings or gives them a bad reputation – this is even worse when this type of speech is directed toward an entire community of people.

Each one of these has their specific descriptions and treatments, but in summary there are five steps that we can take to become more aware of our speech and to polish our tongues, according to the spiritual teachers:

1) Knowledge: Just be aware of the 8 types of speech that you should avoid. Knowledge leads to introspection and introspection leads to reform. When you notice any of these ailments on your tongue, take yourself to task and work to change you condition.

2) Silence: The Prophet Muhammad said that “anyone who believes in God and the Last Day should either speak well or remain silent.” Silence is golden, so goes the saying. Thinking before you speak is the key. One of the great sages of Islam and Caliph after the Prophet Muhammad would place a small stone underneath his tongue and move it to speak only after considering whether what he had to say was truly beneficial. This might be too difficult of a practice for many of us, but it goes to show how seriously silence was taken among the spiritual elite.

3) Fasting: Increase your days of fasting, for fasting by its nature teaches restraint.

4) Change your surrounding: Keeping good company and keeping yourself busy with good things so that your tongue finds very little opportunity to engage in baseless conversations.

5) Remembering the Divine: Cloaking your tongue with the beautiful names of God and the praise of those names will make your tongue to incline toward that which is beautiful and wholesome. Eventually, ugly speech will be completely antithetical and unnatural to a tongue that is used to beauty.

The remaining days of Ramadan are perfect days to intensify our practice of cultivating a disciplined tongue. These are not only the days of peak restraint but also of increasingly remembering God, seeking forgiveness and longing for salvation.

Original article at: http://time.com/3014362/ramadan-day-25-restraining-the-tongue/

Women’s test in life is material. Men’s test in life is women.

This message goes out to the women. If you want men to act more whatever, start looking for that in men. These days women (seem to) care about money, power, and good looks, so this is what men strive for. If women made it clear that instead they were looking for GREAT CHARACTER then trust me men would begin to develop great character. Men will develop what is necessary to attract their mate, that is how we are programmed.

On a personal level, women should figure out what they NEED from a guy, versus what they want. Of course you WANT your man to be wealthy, powerful and good looking, but don’t you NEED him to be respectful, loving, and courteous? (Or whatever personality traits that YOU personally need in a life partner?) I got this tidbit of philosophy from the awesome comedian Dave Chapelle. Check out this clip from his standup which is both funny AND enlightening.

 

From ANGER to PITY to LOVE: 3 Steps to FORGIVENESS

When someone has wronged you it if often VERY DIFFICULT to forgive. It is strange how we hold on to anger as if in vengeance against the other person. As if if we LET IT GO we would be conceding defeat to them. What an ABSURD notion! (this is one of THE DEVIL’S LIES)The one who SUFFERS MOST is you, and your SUFFERING is your DEFEAT.

You see? The TRUE VICTORY lies in never allowing yourself to be negatively effected. Every TRESPASS against you makes you STRONGER.

Here is how I learned to forgive:

Continue reading “From ANGER to PITY to LOVE: 3 Steps to FORGIVENESS”

What ELEMENTAL STAGE is your life in and what you can do to MAXIMIZE YOUR POTENTIAL

Everyone’s life goes through stages, and throughout life you WILL change. Physical change is the most obvious to perceive, as we change in size, strength, and physical ability. Also fairly obvious are the mental changes that occur, as your mind and thought and even personality change and develop. What is NOT SO OBVIOUS however, is that change in SPIRIT that coincides with these other two changes.

Just as a baby has a baby’s BODY and a baby’s MIND, it also has a baby’s SPIRIT.

Continue reading “What ELEMENTAL STAGE is your life in and what you can do to MAXIMIZE YOUR POTENTIAL”

FIVE ELEMENT ALCHEMY: Lesson 2: Examples

To read the first lesson and learn what the 5 Elements ACTUALLY ARE and their QUALITIES click here.

Now I’m going to expand on what we talked about in the first lesson. But to recap briefly, the 5 elements describe the process of CHANGE, that ALL THINGS go through constantly. Each element transforms into another one in an endless cycle. Each element is associated with a certain quality. Here are some examples:

1. Life of a Tree

2. Learning to Draw

3. Falling on your Face (literally)

Continue reading “FIVE ELEMENT ALCHEMY: Lesson 2: Examples”